


Love is What You Feed On

by TheHypocriticalStrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Demonstuck, M/M, Multi, incubus, sexually explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 21:25:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8225264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHypocriticalStrider/pseuds/TheHypocriticalStrider
Summary: Your name is Dirk Strider, and you have been living with your boyfriend, Jake English, for a couple centuries now. You both are demon hunters. One night, Bro calls you in for work, and it seems that either Derse is getting weaker, or the Demons are getting stronger. You have to find out why before shit goes down in the mortal world.





	

DIRK === > JAKE!

Jake English. That was all you could think about. Your dorky, adorable, loving, boyfriend. He was on your mind at all times, and you knew you were on his. His warmth whenever you are together, makes your mind soar and you feel like you are in Prospit, even though if you were you'd truly be burning from the holy energy. His smells, oh god his smells. You love all of the smells of Jake English. Your giddy, excitable, sexy, boyfriend. You love him so much. More than you love yourself. He's the one think keeping you alive and happy. Your partner, your boyfriend, your lover. He is everything to you – even as he vacuums the house and you're laying down on the bed in the bedroom of the two-bedroom apartment you both share. The other room is the guest room. 

He's vacuuming the living room at the moment, which is painful to your ears, but you ignore it by putting on your big sound-blocking headphones. Music invades your ears as you hear the faint sounds of the vacuum getting close to the wall between you and the living room. You give an audible sigh as you lay there, waiting and waiting for your amazing boyfriend to finish cleaning. You stare at the ceiling through your shades and a little pesterchum window pops up.

timeusTestified is now pestering timeustestified

TT: Hello Dirk.

You raise your eyebrow in confusion. Hal never pesters you when you're bored. He usually only messages you when it’s extremely annoying or you're super busy with other things. What the fuck do you want? Your eyes trained on the little screen in front of you.

TT: Bro wanted me to give you the new assignment for today. You got a shit ton on your plate, dude.

His answer caught you aback for a second, then you remember, he has direct link into your thoughts. He can hear your thoughts 24/7 and he can also see what you see 24/7. 

TT: Can’t believe you forgot about that. Has it really been that long since I've annoyed you during sex or something?  
TT: Anyway, your assignment today is a little rough. You and Jake have to take care of a horde of zombies in the broken down mall on East Street, then you have to take out Vriska Serket, again.  
TT: She really hates you, doesn't she?

Your automatic thought was about how fucking annoying she's getting. Damn her. Last time you fought her, she lost an eye permanently to your amazing katana. The sword was your dad's. You got it for your 16th birthday over 400 years ago. Dad was dead by then, but Bro had the sword to give to you. You call it the unbreakable katana, because it's never broken on you. You barely have any memory of your dad and your mom. You know that they were demon hunters, and they died at the hands of one, but you don’t know who. If anything, Bro has already extracted revenge on the demon that took your parents. 

TT: Dude are you even listening to me? Talk about sidetracked.

You give Hal a glare through your shades. Obviously his mind reading is a little annoying. Especially when you get sidetracked like that. Damn it. Fuck you. You do it too, you know.

TT: At least I don't have someone to read my mind for it. Bro probably can hear your thoughts from work, dude. I'd say take a chill pill but your chill pill is kind of hot. Anyway, just thought to let you know your jobs tonight. I'll see you around.  
timeusTestified has stopped pestering timeusTestified

You sigh. Vriska Serket, again? She must have something planned and hidden up her sleeves. The spider bitch goes to town on the old hospital that closed and broke down years ago. That's always been her place here in the mortal world. The place is creepy as hell and you can feel all of the negative energy surrounding the place. It’s a prime place for demons to set up Derse portals and hop back and forth to get away from hunters like you and Jake. "You two are our best, other than me of fucking course. You know I'd let you kids have a holiday to go fuck all god damn day, but I can't. The demons in Derse are getting stronger by the day and we need you two on the field. Maybe you can teach Dave a thing or two. You have a couple centuries on him." Bro would always say whenever you whine about your jobs. He'd give you the sternest look through the triangular shades that look identical to yours. You'd fist bump and then head off to the jobs for the night, making you feel a little better, and you sometimes take Dave with you to show him the ropes of the job. Tonight you just might need to bring him with you. Vriska Serket is a bitch to deal with, and the last time you went up against her, Jake and you almost died. 

You notice the vacuuming sound has stopped and you sit up, taking off your headphones and swinging your legs around to the edge of the bed. You hoist up and onto your feet just as you hear the door to the bedroom swing open. "Strider, I finished." Jake said, his face beaming with joy and comfort. You look over to him, setting the headphones on the bed. You give him a Strider famous smirk and nod.

"Yeah. I also have our jobs for tonight, so when we head to work, we just need to pop in to Bro to tell him that we're there and go on our way. Also, we might just need Dave tonight. I don’t want to take any risks of almost losing you again." You say while walking over to him. "The Spider Bitch is back, and I think it’s time to show Bro what Dave's made out of." You look him in the eye through your shades, his brilliantly green eyes shimmering with anticipation. "We also have a horde of Zombies to take care of-" Jake had wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close, placing his lips on yours gently. The kiss was filled with love and passion, the energy filling you happily. You kiss back just as passionately, your eyes closing behind the shades. Jake is so fucking intoxicating and you love it. His hands trail down from your waist to your hips, and snaking around them to your ass and he grabs ahold of it gently, like he's going to break you. This makes your heart flutter as you pull him a little closer to you, pushing your chest up against his. Jake… You can feel the passion and care he has for you in his emotions, in the energy he's giving you. Dating someone for 200 years can do that.

Jake pulls away from the kiss, your hands laying on his arms as he reaches up with one hand and removes your shades. He sets them down on the dresser beside you both. You look up at his brilliant green eyes with your own orange soda colored eyes. You love his eyes. They're always so gorgeous and colorful. The playfulness in his personality shines through the color along with the care and passion he has for you. "Strider, I do say, are you a little excited?" He muttered, his heavy accent lulling you into a love so deep you could never escape. He presses a hand against your ass, groping it through the grey sweatpants you're wearing. Really the only thing you're wearing on your bottom half. You give him a soft moan, pushing yourself up against him a little more. God you're such a fucking bottom. Jake blushes slightly and smiles softly down at you. The fucker's a good three inches taller than you too. God damn do you love him so much. He's everything to you. "Maybe, a little bit of a romp before we go and fight Serket would be the best, wouldn't you agree, love?" Oh god when he calls you that your heart soars. 

You nod, biting your bottom lip as Jake gives you an enthusiastic grin. Your heart flutters. He leans down and nuzzles your cheek softly. You nuzzle back, breathing in his scent, feeling as if you need to memorize the smell. You feel his hands groping at your ass, and you are enveloped in the love he has for you.

Wait

Love

It suddenly dawns on you that this is the first time you've ever felt this much emotion pouring out of Jake. Your Jake. He never said "I love you" in the past 200 years and it's never really bothered you before, but now as you stand there with him kissing your neck softly, hands upon your ass, you feel it. The hot, blooming of love. He whispers something into your ear, and you don’t quite catch it. You were too busy in your own thoughts and caught up in your boyfriend's feelings that you weren’t paying attention to anything he said. "What…?" You ask, pulling away slightly, his eyes having your full attention. "I- I didn't quite get that."

"I love you, Strider. I love you with all of my heart and my soul." He muttered, reaching up and putting a hand to your cheek. His eyes look so sad and sincere, as if he'll lose you by saying that. You feel a twinge in your heart as you realize that he hasn’t said it all this time because he was afraid of losing you. 

"I love you so god damn much more, English…" You mutter back, giving him a real, genuine smile. The smile that is only shared to him. It's only for him. No one else. Jake relaxes, obviously relieved that you feel the exact same way. He leaned in, pressing your lips together passionately. Love. He loves you. The warmth of your boyfriend fills your soul to the very max, your body relaxing in his arms. 

He pulls away and bends over slightly, wrapping an arm around your legs and your torso. He lifts and you go into his arms, princess style. You grin, chuckling as he carries you to the bed, carefully throwing you onto it, making sure you land on the bed at least. You squeak at the sudden throw, but maintain the strider coolness. Strider's don’t squeak. You land on the bed, your ass bouncing slightly. Jake looks you over before removing his glasses, which you've learned throughout the time you've known him that he really doesn’t need them, and his white shirt, which was sporting his favorite demon skull print. His perfect chest gleams slightly in the sunlight coming from the window off to the right of the bed. You can see through his khaki shorts that he's sporting a very nice boner. You wiggle your eyebrows at him suggestively, which make him crack a grin and laugh a bit. 

"Come on, old chap!" He said, reaching over and tugging at your shirt as he leans over you and onto the bed. He's bringing his knees up onto the bed and placing them one to the side and the other between your legs. He tugs at your shirt again as he looks hungrily down at you. You oblige and sit up on your elbows, giving him a kiss before laying back down and removing your shirt with a little effort. He grins, placing a hand on your chest, he inspects you. You shiver slightly under his gaze. He looks up at you, stretching over you and pressing his lips to yours again, this time hungrily. You kiss back, wrapping your arms around his neck softly. His knee moves to grind into your crotch, the sudden friction making you gasp softly into the kiss, his elbows right beside your head as you grind your crotch against his knee in rhythm with him. He chuckles a bit when he coaxes a soft moan out of you in the middle of the kiss, his hands lacing themselves through your now messy hair. He pulls slightly, making you moan a little louder for him. 

He pulls out of the kiss, looking down at you with loving eyes, with hunger set behind them. He moves to your neck, kissing, biting, and sucking at the sensitive skin near your jaw and collar bone, his knee still grinding against your erection. He coaxes moans and whimpers out of you, which make him want more and more to just fuck you. You can feel the need in both of you start to rise. You reach down to unbutton his pants, not giving a shit anymore about this being making love. You need him to fuck you NOW. He hastily pulls away from your neck and sits up on his knees, letting you finish undoing his pants. He jumps up after a second, removing them and his green skull underwear, showing off the 7-inch erection that you worship. You pull down your sweatpants, Jake grabbing them by the waist once they were near your knees and pulls them all the way off. They go flying across the room. Jake stands there, naked as could be and just grins at you. You smirk at him the best you could before he gets back onto the bed, gripping your hard on and squeezing it. You give a small moan and flutter your eyes shut, his breathing and the energy coming off of him is all you need to know he's there. "Jake…" You moan softly as he starts to pump your erection slowly. His rough, calloused hands against your skin makes you fly higher than cloud 9 as he continues to pump you slowly. You feel him scooting down to the foot of the bed and placing his cheek against your dick. Oh shit. The feeling of his soft face against the sensitive skin makes you even more aroused. 

You sit up on your elbows to see him giving you a shit faced grin. Oh great he has a plan. You raise your eyebrow at him, watching him as he licks your erection from base to tip, giving you a wave of pleasure and making you groan softly. He's going to play your game. Such a fucking cock tease. He licks the tip slowly, watching as your face gets redder with every arousing thing your fucking sexy boyfriend does. "You're such a cock tease-" You pant out, your breathing getting heavier due to old habits die hard. You don’t really need air, but that’s okay because Jake thinks it's hot when you breathe hard. Your dick twitches when he bites a little on the tip. God you're such a masochist. Jake takes the tip into his mouth and sucks lightly, making you deliver a loud moan. He hums in pleasure as he continues to slowly, but surely, take you all into his mouth. God Jake, where's your gag reflex? On the god damn moon? 

He sucks on you a little harder now, bobbing his head up and down slowly. You flop back off of your elbows and moan softly, your eyes fluttering. God this is hot. Your boyfriend is hot. You love him so much. You accidentally thrust up into his mouth, making him grab your hips and hold them down. You reach down and entwine your fingers through his dark, thick hair. He picks up the pace a little as he continues to blow you happily. His pace picks up quickly as your hands grip onto his hair and you guide him quickly up and down your erection. He hums happily as you moan loudly. "Jake- God FUCK- I-I'm going to- I'm gonna-" and with that he thrust you down his throat and sucked harder, making you spill all over and into his mouth. He swallowed happily, pulling you out of his mouth with a pop. He grinned at you, rubbing your hips softly. They were a little sore from how hard he was holding you, but that’s okay. You don’t mind one fucking bit.

"Wow, Strider! You came so much more than usual!" He exclaims, scooting farther up and is now back on top of you again. You laugh a little bit, shaking your head. You lean up and kiss him, pushing your lips onto his roughly. He kisses you back, pushing his tongue into your slightly parted lips. You taste Jake and yourself. Weird, but not too bad. Jake seems to like your taste. Your tongue rolls around with him in the all-out face battle of the night, maybe. You grin and reach down, griping him now. He melts into your touch instantaneously. He's been waiting all day for this, you think. He seems like it. You trail your fingers along his erection, earning a soft, breathy moan from him. You pull away from the kiss, looking him in the eyes. 

"That's 'cause you fucking blew me and that makes me all the more aroused." You mumble, squeezing his dick in your hands, which rewards you with a small "Dirk please-" This makes you smirk and raise your hips up to meet his again, grinding roughly, pulling his head down. "English, I want you to fuck me so hard I'll have a limp when we go to work." You whisper into his ear. You hear a low, motherfucking sexy growl arise from his chest. 

"I was fuckin' waiting to hear that, Dirk." His voice makes you shutter with anticipation. God you love this man. He pulls away from you slightly, only to reach over to the nearest nightstand and open up a drawer. He stuck his hand it, grabbing the lube and returning to his place in between your legs. He pops the cap and slathers his first and middle finger in the orange slick liquid. Orange flavored too. He pops the cap back on and reached down, placing his pointer finger on the puckered skin of your ass. You shiver as he slowly pushes one inside, he pumps it in and out of you just a little bit before coaxing the second finger in. You moan softly as he scissors you to stretch the tight flesh. You moan as he explores the cavern that he loves to fuck. He brushes his fingers against your prostate and you clench slightly, earning a soft groan. He grins and presses on it lightly, making you once again hard, and coaxing a louder moan out of you. He slowly slips his fingers out and grabs the lube again, opening it and squeezing it onto his dick. He slathers it on before grabbing your ass and lifting it for a better entrance. He pokes and prods the lubed skin a couple of times, earning impatient whines and grumbles. 

When he pushes into you, it feels so good. His pleasure went up a mile as he slowly presses himself into you, his erection slipping very easily. He filled you so perfectly, his erection stretching you so much, but it was a comfortable stretch, like you've done this a million times, in which you have. His dark fuzz finally touches your balls and you spread yourself out for him. You love this man so much. His pleasure came off of him in waves, his eyes looking you up and down. He bent over you, placing a hungry kiss on your lips before you smirked. "I am so god damn ready, Jake. Just fuck me please!" He nodded and pulled out halfway, then rammed himself back into you, making you moan in pleasure. He did this again, and again, and again, each time picking up the pace a little, and getting a little harder thrusts. He moved a bit, positioning you so when he thrust into you, his hard on hit your prostate. God thank that little ball of nerves. You moan loudly, you back arching upwards. Pleasure continued to wave off of him. Every time he thrust in your energy filled up even more, every time you moaned, he got just a little closer to coming. You could feel him becoming more and more energetic, more determined to make you come before him, and before long, the both of you were close to the edge, ready to come. You came first, his relentless thrusts overpowering your senses as he continued through your orgasm, the white sticky substance spilling all over you and your boyfriend's chest and stomach. He came not long after, burying himself deep into you as he spilt his warmth into you.  
You both sigh in relief. God that felt so good. He pulls out of you and leans over you, kissing you again, but sweetly, without hunger. You place a hand on his cheek softly, kissing back. He pulls away, looking at you with caring, loving eyes.

Loving.

That made your heart melt. "Strider, I love you." He muttered, a hand reaching up to cup your cheek like you are doing with his. You smile at him, his eyes fluttering with love.

"I love you too, Jake." You mutter back, leaning up and kissing him again.

 

DIRK === > Go take a shower you dirty sinner

Hey now don’t be so rude. But yeah, a shower would be best. 

You and Jake get up after your amazing sex session and you head to the shower together. Here recently, you and Jake have been taking showers together a lot. Not like you mind or anything though. You start the shower water and wait for it to warm up by… Making out with Jake. Typical.

Jake has you pressed up against the wall, his hands pinning yours to the wall. Damn he's being a little aggressive today. Not like you care. Tongues roll over each other as you both swap tonsils relentlessly. Only when the bathroom starts to fill up with steam do you pull away. Jake looks at you, letting your wrists go before taking your hand in his. God do you love this man. He pulls you into the shower, the hot water washing over the both of you. God you probably look like a wet dog, but oh well. Jake grabs the bottle of shampoo and starts to rub you down, teasing you slightly by slipping his hand down your ass and just slightly missing your dick with his hands. With every touch, you feel your muscles loosening and your body relaxing. His warm, loving, playful energy calms you down with every stroke across your back, every massage of your arms, every kiss he gives your cheek. Soon enough, you feel ready for the day ahead. You turn around to look at Jake. He looks at you. "Your turn." You say, your face as straight as possible. You crack a grin. You can't be stoic around Jake. Never have been, never will be.

Jake hands over the shampoo and you go straight to work, slathering it all through his hair and on his skin. You massage carefully knots out of his back and shoulders as you shampoo his body down. You massage his ass, which, as much as it sounds like groping, it really isn’t. You work your fingers through his muscles, working out the tension in his lower back and calves. You slowly work out kinks in the thighs and shoulders. You love on his neck as you massage the shit out of it. When he has finally completely relaxed, you put down the shampoo and pick up the conditioner. You slather it through his hair, the softness slowly becoming more moisturized the second you keep running your hand through it. You help him rinse it out before kissing him softly again, throwing your arms around his neck. He grinned wildly and kissed you back, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. Soon enough, the kiss ends and he takes the conditioner from you. "Strider, I believe it's time that I condition your hair." He says playfully. You chuckle at his tone and turn around for him so he can condition your hair correctly. He works his fingers through your thick, platinum blonde hair. He massage's your scalp, making you sigh of content and lean back into him. 

Your foot slips.

Oh fuck.

You and Jake topple to the floor of the large shower, falling on top of him as he protects his head from the floor. You fall on top of him. "AH SHIT." You just slightly yell as your boyfriend's back hits the floor. He's struggling to breathe. Fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit. You get up as fast as you can and help him sit up as he regains his breath. "Jake- Oh my god- Jake are you alright?" You panickedly ask, looking all over his body for any flesh wounds or bruises. "Fuck- I'm so sorry, Jake- I didn’t mean to slip-" Jake puts a finger to your lips. You shut up immediately. 

"Dirk, I'm fine. I just got the wind knocked out of me, mate. I'm okay don't panic." Jake says, pushing himself up against the wall. "What matters is if you're okay, Strider. Did you get hurt?" You shake your head. "Okay. Good." He leans over and kisses your cheek softly. "We need to get dressed and ready for work. Let’s turn off the shower and go to a less hazardous place." You nod and stand up, holding your hand put for him.

"You're right. Like always." You say, relief obviously plaguing your face. Jake chuckles and takes your hand, looking up at you. He stands up and turns off the shower water, leaving the water to drip off of the two of you. 

"I am, aren’t I?" He asks quietly. He stares at the wall for a good five seconds before snapping out of it. "Anyway, ole chap, we should be getting dressed and all that jazz. Work starts in an hour or so." What was that? Jake leads you out of the shower and grabs two towels, giving one to you to dry off. You accept the towel and dry off quickly. Jake gives you a brilliant smile that makes you smirk. You both head to the bedroom, which by now smells more like sex than anything. You head to the closet while Jake goes to the dresser where your shades are sitting. 

You open up the closet and choose your signature white shirt with an orange hat. You have a million of these shirts, and yet they are always going to be your favorite. You pick out a pair of orange jeans and in seconds you are dressed. You pick up your orange converse and a pair of ankle socks and slip the socks on. You're in the middle of tying your shoes when Jake sits beside you on the bed. He was wearing a green over shirt on top of his signature skull shirt. He wears his khaki shorts from before and a pair of tan combat boots that make a satisfied clunk when he walks. You finish tying your shoes and sit up fully. Oh fuck you're so full. Won’t have to feed for a good month. "Strider, are you ready to face her again?" Jake mutters, leaning over and placing his head on your shoulder. You stop and think. Am I really ready to deal with her again? Last time I almost lost Jake. I almost lost the love of my life. 

"I am as ready as a Strider can be." You say, as confident as you can. This seems to satisfy Jake. He grins widely, placing his hand on your thigh. 

"Good. Because I'm confident we can beat her again with flying colors, Strider." He says, his chipper attitude lifting yours. "Also, I'm so ready to get back at her for hurting you. I have a brilliant plan, that since we have your brother coming along, it is sure to work!" He says, hitting his fist into the palm of his hand. "I am positive we can send her to Prospit to burn for eternity." His eyes are so determined that you actually believe him.

 

DIRK === > Get your fight on!

This is going to be fucking difficult. A horde of Zombies isn’t so hard. The Spider Bitch, not so much. 

You and Jake hop into the orange Jeep that you parked in the apartment complex parking lot. Jake always has shotgun, unless there is a female riding with you two, then he politely gives up the seat to the lady. You drive your jeep doorless and roofless. You like it that way, and you plan to keep it that way. The jeep starts up beautifully with the command of, "START THE FUCK UP." Wonderful, don’t you think?

Now you and Jake are ripping down the empty road to work. It’s about 8 pm and you and Jake are the only ones on the road. That’s a little weird, but that's okay. Neither of you mind. You have to park a block away from the bar and lounge. It's pretty packed in tonight. Wait, it's fucking Friday. No wonder no one's out and the bar is packed. You turn the jeep off and get out, the wind smelling slightly like booze and trouble. Did Dave get into another fucking fight? You take Jake's hand and then start to walk side by side to the bar and lounge. Bro never really gave it a name. He calls it a safe place for demons… God what's the word? Haven. He calls it a demon haven. For demons with the better souls. Sometimes even Angels hang out around here. Yeah, your bro is that cool. 

When you arrive at the door, you are presented with a full bar, and your younger brother sitting in a corner alone. His date must have ditched him. The poor kid. You pity him. As you and Jake step into the bar and lounge, the amount of sound coming at you at once is overwhelming. You stumble slightly, Jake catching you before you could hurt yourself. You straighten up immediately after you've caught yourself. "Strider, are you alright?" He asks softly, enough for only you to hear. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got tripped up." You mutter back, taking his hand in yours again. The two of you head up to the stairs that lead to Bro's office. Bro was waiting right outside for you, leaning against the door of his office, orange hat, white polo shirt with collar popped, and leather, fingerless gloves all there. He raises a fist up for a fist bump. You fist bump him and he opens the door to the office. Plush, brown leather sofa off to the side, facing the desk to the left of you. Just like you remember. 

"There's a cup of Loc Nes Monster blood with your name on it in the mini fridge, lil' man." Bro says, heading behind his desk and sitting in the comfortable leather seat. You fake gag and head over to the fridge and pull out the blood he said. It was in one of those big gulp cups you get from the gas station. Knowing Bro, it probably was. You take one sip out of the orange straw and actually gag. God this shit was disgusting. You know that him giving you this stuff is an 80% chance of him lying to you about it making you stronger and just making you drink it to torture you.

"It's more just both, Dirk." Bro said, chuckling. Damn mind readers. Bro smirks and you take your time walking over to the couch where Jake has already sat his sweet ass down. You sit beside him and drink the fishy, salty blood. You take note that things that live in the sea are mostly fishy. Even their blood. You look at Bro through your shades, mentally gaging on the blood. Bro's expression went from a smirk to a stoic, serious face.

Shit. When he's like this something's wrong, or he's going to be an ass.

Bro nods. "You know me all too well, Dirk." Damn Mind readers. "There is something seriously wrong with the power balance between Prospit and Derse. I am going to be lookin' into it myself, but for now, I need you two to be on the lookout for anything unusual about the ghouls and demons you fight. If you figure anything out, tell me straight away."

Fuck I was hoping the latter.

You and Jake nod as you finish up the gulp cup of the disgusting blood. Good riddance. God fuck. This is serious. "I believe Hal gave you your assignments for me today, so you already know what you're doing."

"We're bringing Dave with us too." Jake says, his hands wringing in his lap in anticipation. "We are going to need some help with Vriska, and Dave will help us along brilliantly." He gives him the Jake English winning smile. Bro smirks.

"Alright. Now, be gone with you, you teenagers." He said, ushering you both out of the office. You both head down the stairs to where Dave was sitting, sulking. You could tell just by the energy around him that his date ditched him for some other guy. God damn this kid never gets a break. 

You sit down beside Dave, Jake sitting beside you. "Yo, lil' bro. We need you on a mission, and since your date ditched you, then your free. So like it or not, you're coming." You say, placing a hand on his shoulder. He grunted and stood up, his expression steely and cold. 

"Whatever man. This is god damn oppression." He mutters, heading to the door. You raise an eyebrow at him and then shake your head. You stand up, Jake following behind you as you walk to the door, keeping Dave in your sight. When you get outside, the cool air and silence washes over you. You didn’t even notice you were sweating. Damn. Dave was already half way to the jeep when you see him flashstepping to the vehicle. He seems to be a little more than heartbroken. You'll have to take it up with him later.

When you make it to the jeep, Dave is already sitting in the back, looking off to the side and out the other door. You pat him on the shoulder, getting his attention. He waves you off, and you shrug, sliding into the front seat, Jake sliding in beside you in the passenger seat. He leans over and kisses your cheek softly. The tension in the air was heavy and uneasy, due to the possible doom all three of you might succumb to. You turn the jeep on and tear away from the curb, making Dave lurch forward unexpectedly. You smirk as you turn on the stereo, hearing your mix of Turn off the Lights. Perfect. The irony is strong with this one. You tear down the street at 120 mph and you head towards the old run down mall. Dave was smirking now. Good. The kid needs a break from heartbreak. You make it to the mall just in time for the next song to start. Perfect. 

HEART BEAT by Len and Rin Kagamine comes on as you jump out of the jeep, your katana bared. Jake was beside you in seconds and Dave was on the other side in quick timing. You look at the three of them, their expressions determined. "Jake, you take the bottom floor, Dave and I'll take the top two. Come up if you finish and help us out." Jake and Dave nod. 

3

2

1

You rush forward with Dave and Jake at your tail as you burst through the broken doors with a kick. "Alright, MOTHERFUCKERS!" You yell, smirking widely and going to town on the rotting corpses of the undead. 

 

DIRK === > Get on with it! Fight the Spider Bitch!

Hold your god damn horses. You're getting there. 

You, Jake, and Dave are standing in the middle of the second floor of the mall, waiting, listening. Waiting to hear anything of a zombie that either of you missed. Nothing. Silence for minutes. Two minutes, then five, and you all relax. You, Jake, and your brother, Defeated a horde in under 10 minutes. Holy shit. We did that in under 10 minutes. Well fuck.

Music plays from your jeep.  
Thread by thread  
Stitching it together  
Twilight's dress

You smirk. Not surprised the song was on there. My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic is the best show in the world. Dave groans when he notices the song. Jake's face lights up and he puts his guns away. You sheath your katana, and you can hear Dave's bitching before he even starts.

"Dirk what the mother fuck is this god damn shit are you fucking serious this is mlp are you a god damn brony motherfuck I should have known you are such a child what the fuck why do you even like this children's show like motherfucking hell I hate you" You stop listening and you start to listen to Jake sing along to the song. His voice makes your chest warm and fuzzy. God damn you love this dorky, adorable, ancient, man. You take Jake's hand and start to walk to the car. Dave continues to bitch as he follows you. Jake's voice fills the cavernous mall, making his baritone voice sound even better. 

Jake flashes you a gorgeous smile as you make it to the jeep, his eyes filled with mischief. He leans over and kisses you passionately, his hands around your waist in no fucking time. You are startled by the surprise kiss and after a few seconds, kiss back. Dave makes a gagging sound. Jake pulls away and grins. You smirk back and pull away from Jake so you can hop into the vehicle and start it up. Dave's now bitching about relationships.

"Dude, it's no fair that you and Jake have been dating for two centuries. Why can't this sexy Strider get even one date? Oppression. I tell you. One day I'm sitting in a very nice café and I meet a guy and we date for like a day and then he leaves me for some chick. I can't get a decent god damn date for one god damn month-" God does this kid ever shut up?

You pull out of the parking lot and drive down the road to the last job of the night. Vriska. Jake seems to be on edge. Dave has no idea of the next job, and who it will be. He has no fucking clue. 

 

DIRK === > Worry

And worry you shall.

As you drive closer to the old hospital, you start to worry that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to bring Dave with you. What if all three of you aren't enough to take her down? What if she's so much stronger than before? You're, quite honestly, terrified. Last time she almost destroyed you and Jake. Thanks to Jake having a flamethrower, she was destroyed, but you both almost died. You take a slow, deep breath. Jake notices your shaky demeanor, but Dave is still blabbering on and on about relationships. You grip the steering wheel tighter and press the gas hard. Dave is thrown back in his seat as you take off down the road to your possible doom.

 

DIRK === > FIGHT THAT BIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHH

It’s time for her to go back to Derse and serve her time. Again.

Jake notices it first. The webs wound tightly on everything throughout the hallways of the hospital. How long has she been here? Way to long for anyone's comfort, you would believe. She must have grown stronger, since her webs are like steel now. It takes a few slashes, but you cut through her webs into the nest, the psych ward. How ironic. Dave shivers at the sight. Dead bodies tied up in the strong, sticky web, guts spilled out all over the ground. Blood pools were everywhere and there were no survivors to be found. Small human like spider babies scuttled around the walls, not even noticing you three. That's a relief. Those spider babies are spiders with baby torso's attached to them. Vriska loves them. Neither of you do. 

As you reach the middle of the psych ward, you see her. 10 feet tall, ugly as fuck, and scuttling around, eating an intestine out of one of her newer catches. She doesn’t notice you, yet. You look around the room for the Derse portals. There must be a shit ton of them. Dave pats your arms as he points to the space under the bitch. It's the biggest Derse portal you have ever seen. It's easily twice the size of Vriska herself. She didn't make the portal. There is no fucking way. One of the spider baby things scuttles past Dave and he jumps, knocking into you. You catch him before anything could happen horribly wrong, but then you notice. 7 eyes are on the three of you. Fuck.

"Diiiiiiiirk Striiiiiiider!" She screeches, her front two legs lifting up in intimidation, and holy fuck was she terrifying. 10 foot spiderhuman is angered. You gonna die. 

Jake was on it in seconds, a shot gun in his hands suddenly. Wait what the fuck how have you never noticed how unbelievably hot he is holding a shot gun. God you want him to fuck you- No stay on track. There is a big angry spiderhuman demon and you're pretty sure you're going to die. Jake on the other hand, does not. His energy boosts yours, hopefully.

You bare your katana at her, looking her square in the all 7 eyes. "Eyup, that’s me, Spider Bitch. Glad to see your eye's doing well." You smirk. She strikes out at you, and you flashstep away to avoid her attack. You'll distract her while Dave and Jake get their shit together. She brings down one of her legs, just barely missing you as you continue to navigate her web in quick flashsteps. You can feel her hatred burning brighter and brighter as you continue to evade her attacks. Sometimes you have to parry them with your katana. When one of her legs gets to close for comfort and slices your cheek, you know you are way outmatched. She's grinning, or is that just that her face is split in half. No matter, it's creepy and unnerving, like her whole being. She's got you backed into a corner. Fuck. She's getting too close with her face, which is right close to yours. 

"Diiiiiiiirk, you're goiiiiiiiing to diiiiiiiie today- and then iiiiiiii shall eat you." The words dripped out of her mouth like honey. You feel a sharp pain in your abdomen as one of her legs rips through the skin. You grit your teeth, baring the pain as much as you possibly could. 

"HEY SPIDER BITCH! OVER HERE!" Dave yelled from the other side of the room. Her attention turned to him as her leg pulled out of you. You coughed up blood, falling to the ground. Your wound should heal quick enough for you to get back into the game. Vriska scuttled after your younger brother and Jake, who was flamethrowing every web he could to expose the Derse portal. She screeches as Dave cuts off one of her legs, his flashstepping was precise and accurate. Good for him. As your wound starts to close fully, the Derse portal is finally exposed. You stand up, the pain slowly receding with the wound. You smirk. You're proud of your brother.

You flashstep over to Dave, trading off places with him and moving up to strike another leg. Your katana breaks through the hard exoskeleton easily, cutting the leg off in a clean cut. She screeches again, her attention now on you as she and you do the dangerous dance of sword/leg fighting. You manage to flashstep up onto a wall, jump off, and plunge your sword into her chest, right through her weird spider human heart thing. She stops and looks you dead in the eyes over your shades. "You're through, Vriska Serket." You say, your eyes cold and hard. Her eyes widened as she starts to tremble, her body stamping and stumbling around with the few legs she still has. You continue to hold on tight to your sword as she throws you around wildly. 

She crashes against a wall, her side going through the hard, solid concrete surface. You shield yourself with your arms as much as possible while still holding onto your sword like your life depended on it, in which, falling from this height in the abandoned hospital, could very much be the end of any mortal's life. What the fuck I'm not mortal what am I doing? You wrench your sword out of her chest as the two of you fall down to the asphalt parking lot. Boy you're glad you parked a good 2 blocks away from the hospital. You look down at the falling spider and smirk. Now's your chance to-

She wraps her spider legs around you, pulling you close. "YOU'RE GOIIIIIIIING DOWN WIIIIIIIITH ME, DIIIIIIIIRK!" She screams, her body curling up, ready for the hit. You plummet to your doom in the legs of a spider. 

This can’t be it. 

I have to do something.

You hear the crunch before you feel the pressure on your back. Pain flowered through your chest as you feel ribs crack and the body of the demon spider squishing behind you. You break through the abdomen into the squishy, gooey insides. Your back hits the ground and you hear another crack in your shoulder. God damn it. It'll heal soon enough, but motherfucking shit that hurts. The spindly legs twitch above you as Vriska slowly dies off. You sit up and wince at the new found pain in your back, chest, and shoulders. You wait a few seconds as you feel your bones slowly popping back into place, the breaks and tears in your skin sealing closed. Vriska's body starts to steam, the goop all around you being the first to go. You stand up, looking up the hospital building to see Jake and Dave peering out of the hole in the wall. You wave your sword at them, giving them the go ahead to close the portal. You flashstep to the front doors, where there are some expired babyspider things. By the time Jake and Dave make it down to you, you're leaning against the doorframe, waiting for the both of them. "Told you it'd be easy." You smirk, looking at them. Jake was beaming. His energy bright and warm. Dave, however, was not so pleased. Your brother was roughed up pretty bad, and you knew he wasn’t going to be happy to get back to the bar, where Bro probably will give him some disgusting, but needed, monster blood. Ew. 

Jake stands beside you, looking over at the moon not even halfway through the sky. You finished early tonight. Wonderful. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and you lean into his side carefully. The warmth of his energy makes you feel at peace, and you stand there for a good bit, just basking in the moonlight with your brother and your boyfriend, enjoying the sweet time you have together. 

 

DIRK === > Get your whiny ass brother home and spend some time with Jake!

And that was just what you were about to do. 

Jake pulls away after a moment, looking over at Dave and then back to you. "I believe it's about time we traverse home, don’t you think, chaps?" He says, his chipper attitude breaking the silence. "We all need to get a fantastic night of sleep after having to deal with that mongrel. Let us head to the car, shall we?" Jake takes your hand, and slowly starts to lead you, and your now bitching little brother, to the jeep. You follow him, listening to Dave going on and on about not getting a fair shot at demon hunting like you.

"He needs to give me a shot with a partner!" Dave whines, following behind you. "I get nothing but to be a third wheel with you guys and it's no faiiiiiir!" You drown out the bitching as he continues, paying attention to the warmth of Jake in your hands. You could feel relief in him. He really thought you were going to die when you smashed through the wall with the bitch. You bump into him gently, your hip clashing with his. He smiles, looking down at you. He bumps back, making you chuckle and bump back harder. He stumbles slightly and bumps back harder. You go stumbling and you bump back into him and you both go flying onto the ground, you on top of him, and he holding you. You both started to laugh, Dave huffing. 

"Strider, I do believe we should take the smaller Strider home." Jake suggested, running a hand through his hair. You stop for a second and then nod. So he and I can get on with more stuff… You stand up, getting off of Jake and helping your boyfriend stand. You look over to Dave and then to the hospital behind him. You smirk, motioning for Dave, who was very unamused, to follow. All three of you head to the jeep, confidently striding to your next day.


End file.
